There have been several events to happen since I last blogged.
Congresswoman Giffords was seen walking on her own! All praise and glory be to Jesus Christ our Lord!
She was boarding an airplane headed to Florida to watch her husband's last space flight ascend into the heavens. Sadly, all did not go as planned with the shuttle launch, and it appears that it will not happen until at least May 10. Thankfully whatever was wrong was found so that it could be repaired. The last thing our nation needs right now is another space shuttle tragedy!
To see her board that plane on her own was miraculous! I am sure most all of us remember just a few months ago how unsure we were if she would survive this tragedy. Tragedy turns to triumph in the life of Gabrielle Giffords! Oh, the battle is not over for her, but she has made remarkable recovery! Her life truly is a miracle to behold!
The other big news since I've blogged is the death of Osama bin Laden by our military! Lord, forgive me for rejoicing in his death. I honestly do not know if it is a sin to rejoice over his death. If it is, I truly pray that God will forgive me. However, I know that God specifically commanded the Israelites to kill their enemies in the Old Testament. Sadly, I highly doubt that Osama bin Laden found Truth and Salvation in Jesus Christ before he was killed.
This man was evil incarnate. He orchestrated the deaths of thousands of people! Not only was he the mastermind behind the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center, but he was also behind the bombings of the very same location in 1993.
He lived to terrorize those who did not believe as he did. Justice has been served.
Today I pray for his family. I pray that somehow, some way, they will see that they are being lied to by a religion that teaches hate and terror to those who believe differently than them. Whether or not the moderates of the Muslim religion are just "backsliders", so to speak, or not, I cannot honestly say. But the extremists who seek jihad must not be allowed to terrorize the world. Their actions bring consequences just as all of our actions do.
There was literally Dancing In The Streets in America on Sunday night when it was announced that Osama bin Laden has been killed.
That night President Obama addressed the nation, and the world, to give the official word that Osama bin Laden was dead. This is the first time I truly saw our President behave presidential! The speech he gave was the best speech he's delivered to date! Thank you, Mr. President!
Thank you, President Bush, for sticking to your guns and doing what was right no matter what the critics said. You were right on September 14, 2001, when you said:
"I can hear you! I can hear you! The rest of the world hears you! And the people -- and the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon!"
They DID hear us! Osama bin Laden most definitely heard all of us, and the rest of the world heard all of us as well!
To the true heroes who made this happen- The United States Military! May God bless each and every one of you! This would not have happened without your sacrifice, training, courage, conviction and commitment to bring justice to the families and friends of all who were lost on September 11, 2001. I pray for your continued safety. The fight is not over by any means!
Lord God, I continue to pray for this nation. She so desperately needs You but refused to acknowledge where she is wrong! Even in our celebration of the good things there is much division.
I continue to pray for Congresswoman Giffords. Please forgive me for not posting daily prayers for her as I had been previously. Though I am not posting daily, I still pray for her daily! I continue to pray for her husband, Mark Kelly, in the preparation for the final space mission. I pray for his and the entire crew's safety and wisdom.
I pray for President Obama. Keep him safe, as his life has been threatened by many throughout the world since the killing of terrorist Osama bin Laden. I pray for wisdom for President Obama. Already there are many discrepancies and changed decisions. Lord God, help him to make a decision and stick to it, no matter what the media says. Please help him to see that We The People need him to be a leader! He made the decision, I personally support him in the decision. I pray that he will not allow this to turn into more of a circus than it is threatening to be. He had to make a tough decision. He made it.
I pray that our military will be successful in weeding out even more terrorists using the information they obtained in the raid.
Lord God, please be with us and keep us. We truly need Your mercy, though we do not deserve it.
I pray all of these things in Jesus Name- Amen.
Showing posts with label Forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Forgiveness. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
THERE COMES A POINT IN YOUR LIFE
It's been several days since I've blogged here. Life just gets so crazy busy! Sometimes I think that in our modern world with the latest technology we have lost so much. We have things so much easier now, with the latest gadget or tool at our fingertips, yet we have so little time to enjoy the things that truly matter.
I received an email from my brother today that I feel is worth sharing. It's one of those "forwards", yet this one hit a spot in my heart. So tonight, I will dwell on the thoughts from his email.
'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.'
When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.
'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'
There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters,
who never did,
who won't anymore...
And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.
This encompasses a lot of things for me. In fact, for a person that usually has an abundance of words, there are really no other words that I can add.
If you are reading this, I challenge you to think on the words above. You have to get to that point in your life where you realize what truly is important. If you have not gotten to that point yet, I challenge you to make that a goal for 2011.
For me, I most definitely have gotten to the point in my life where I realize who and what is important. In fact, today I had the most beautiful reminder of the important things. If you would like to read that story, you can read it here: It's The Simple Things In Life
Lord God, though I have not blogged in several days you know that I have continuously prayed for the things that burden my heart.
I pray for Congresswoman Giffords. I pray that You will continue to heal her body, soul, mind and heart. Help her to forgive the man who created this tragedy in her life. Help her to cling to You for comfort, peace and healing. I pray for her husband, Mark Kelly. Keep him safe on his shuttle mission.
I pray for this nation. My heart aches for this nation who has turned her back on You. Lord God, humble her. Bring her back to You. I pray that she will rise up and fall to her knees in repentance before You.
I pray for President Obama. I pray that he will humble himself before You. He and his czars and other members of his administrative team are destroying this nation.
I pray for the nation of Israel who is once again under attack by gunfire and mortar and bombs. Protect her and keep her safe in the shadow of You, Almighty God.
I pray all of these things in the precious, holy Name of Your Son Jesus Christ- Amen.
I received an email from my brother today that I feel is worth sharing. It's one of those "forwards", yet this one hit a spot in my heart. So tonight, I will dwell on the thoughts from his email.
'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.'
When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.
'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'
There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters,
who never did,
who won't anymore...
And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.
This encompasses a lot of things for me. In fact, for a person that usually has an abundance of words, there are really no other words that I can add.
If you are reading this, I challenge you to think on the words above. You have to get to that point in your life where you realize what truly is important. If you have not gotten to that point yet, I challenge you to make that a goal for 2011.
For me, I most definitely have gotten to the point in my life where I realize who and what is important. In fact, today I had the most beautiful reminder of the important things. If you would like to read that story, you can read it here: It's The Simple Things In Life
Lord God, though I have not blogged in several days you know that I have continuously prayed for the things that burden my heart.
I pray for Congresswoman Giffords. I pray that You will continue to heal her body, soul, mind and heart. Help her to forgive the man who created this tragedy in her life. Help her to cling to You for comfort, peace and healing. I pray for her husband, Mark Kelly. Keep him safe on his shuttle mission.
I pray for this nation. My heart aches for this nation who has turned her back on You. Lord God, humble her. Bring her back to You. I pray that she will rise up and fall to her knees in repentance before You.
I pray for President Obama. I pray that he will humble himself before You. He and his czars and other members of his administrative team are destroying this nation.
I pray for the nation of Israel who is once again under attack by gunfire and mortar and bombs. Protect her and keep her safe in the shadow of You, Almighty God.
I pray all of these things in the precious, holy Name of Your Son Jesus Christ- Amen.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT
We all make plans. Endless plans. Tomorrow I will..... next week I will...... next month I will...... next year I will. The fact of the matter is none of us know what the next moment holds, much less the next day, the next month or the next year.
Are there people in your life that have forgotten how you feel about them? Is there someone in your life that may doubt your love for them? Have you left something unsettled between you and someone?
Almost 10 years ago my life changed in an instant. I've written here about it before. It was the night my first husband took his own life.
For many years I was tormented by the things that were left unsaid. I was haunted by the things that had been said but never been made right.
Thankfully, I now have peace with all that is involved with this death. However, I went through many years of turmoil in just dealing with the emotions of the event, not to mention the things that were left unsettled.
You do not know what tomorrow holds. There is no time like the present to make things right. No matter what it is, no matter who it is with... make sure those you love know that you love them. You just never know what tomorrow may bring.
Lord God, I pray for peace in the lives of those who read this who may be in turmoil. I pray that You will be the Peace that passes all understanding to their soul.
I pray for this nation. I pray for our president. I pray that as a nation we will humble ourselves before You.
I pray for Congresswoman Giffords. She, more than most of us, realize the truth to the statement "there is no time like the present." I praise You for sparing her life. I pray You will use her life mightily for Your glory and honor.
I pray for the nation and people of Israel. I pray that You will keep her safe. Guide her and protect her.
I pray these things in the precious Name of Jesus- Amen.
Are there people in your life that have forgotten how you feel about them? Is there someone in your life that may doubt your love for them? Have you left something unsettled between you and someone?
Almost 10 years ago my life changed in an instant. I've written here about it before. It was the night my first husband took his own life.
For many years I was tormented by the things that were left unsaid. I was haunted by the things that had been said but never been made right.
Thankfully, I now have peace with all that is involved with this death. However, I went through many years of turmoil in just dealing with the emotions of the event, not to mention the things that were left unsettled.
You do not know what tomorrow holds. There is no time like the present to make things right. No matter what it is, no matter who it is with... make sure those you love know that you love them. You just never know what tomorrow may bring.
Lord God, I pray for peace in the lives of those who read this who may be in turmoil. I pray that You will be the Peace that passes all understanding to their soul.
I pray for this nation. I pray for our president. I pray that as a nation we will humble ourselves before You.
I pray for Congresswoman Giffords. She, more than most of us, realize the truth to the statement "there is no time like the present." I praise You for sparing her life. I pray You will use her life mightily for Your glory and honor.
I pray for the nation and people of Israel. I pray that You will keep her safe. Guide her and protect her.
I pray these things in the precious Name of Jesus- Amen.
Monday, March 28, 2011
WHO CAN SATISFY?
I love music. And when I like a song, you know it. Yes, I am one of "those" who will play a song over and over and over. I have literally had one song on perpetual "repeat" for weeks at a time. It drives my husband crazy.
Some time ago, I was listening to a sermon online by Dr. David Jeremiah. Before the sermon started, the choir at his church sang a song that drew me in. It's just one of those songs you cannot get out of your head. So, I went searching. It's not a highly popular song, so I have not really been able to find a decent recording of it. Oh, how I wish I could have a copy of his church choir singing it!
I will enclose the lyrics of the song, as well as a YouTube video of it at the end of this post.
In listening to the song I began to think about the words and the meaning of them in my life. I guess that is one reason why it hit me the way it did.
Putting all this in perspective in another way is the fact that I am doing my Spring Cleaning. If you read my previous post you know that it has turned into a completely different project this year than it has any other year.
I- we- my family... has all this STUFF! So much of it there is absolutely no purpose or reason for having it. It is just here, occupying space, and in some instances, actually getting in the way.
I am actually a very sentimental person. After my first husband's suicide I went through counseling and Survivors of Suicide group therapy. One thing that I realized through that process and my overall healing is that all the stuff is not the memories. The memories last forever. The stuff is just that... stuff!
Another thing I came to realize over the overall healing process is that sometimes we hold onto things for sentimental reasons and rather than helping us they in fact hurt us. While I loved my first husband, we had a very tumultuous relationship in a lot of ways. No, he never physically abused me, but in many ways we did not treat each other with love and respect.
I've gone through several different periods of cleaning out. Before this process I would have held onto everything I could just because it was some link to the past. But as I began the deep soul-searching in my healing I realized that in some of these things the memories are not pleasant at all. So I began to question myself on why I would hold onto things that do not bring me happy memories.
This Spring Cleaning is different from that in that I am not getting rid of bad memories... I am simply getting rid of things that do not have a purpose and a reason to share space with my family and I in our home.
So, in all of this, again, my mind has been whirling. I'm sure by now, if you've read any of my blog, you know that I tend to think things over too much sometimes. So I have been asking myself, "Why? Why do we have all of these things if we do not really need them?" As I've pondered this, I've come to realize a lot of things.
I am not the kind of person that thinks "things" are the key to happiness. I am also one of the rare women who absolutely DETESTS shopping! If I go shopping I go get exactly what I need and get out. I absolutely HATE shopping for clothes with a purple passion because I know I am going to have to try things on! This just takes up too much of my time!
But yet I still get caught up in this rat race. I too am looking for "satisfaction" in things.
For me I think it is more the "satisfaction of being prepared"... you know, "well, one day I may need this!"
And yet, interestingly enough I am absolutely not a pack-rat! Everything has to have it's place! Unfortunately, too many things have a place!
How often we look for everything in the world to satisfy our soul. We chase fame and fortune, friends, the coolest car, the best job.... the list could go on and on.
We are chasing everything and everyone to give us the satisfaction we crave. There is an overflowing fountain that can and will satisfy every craving of our soul. He is The King of kings! He is a victorious Warrior fighting for us in all that we do. He is The Lord of everything that is, has been or ever will be. He is my Rock. He is my Shelter. He is my very own! He is my blessed Redeemer Who reigns upon the throne! He is indeed the only One Who can satisfy the cravings of my soul.
My Jesus... You alone satisfy all that I need! I have many blessings in my life, but the only true satsifcation is in You.
Lord God, please forgive me for losing sight in the rat-race that is life. I am the world's worst in slowing down. I know that You understand me like no other person ever will. You created me. You know what makes me tick. And You know how to reach me when I'm fluttering around. Most of the time it is through music.
I pray tonight for anyone who reads this blog and sees themselves in anything that I have written. I pray that You will use my passion for writing to bless other lives.
Lord.... tonight I pray for those of the Muslim faith. This has been an issue that has been truly on my heart. I've not known exactly how to pray for them, but it has been a constant on my mind and heart for years. I know that You know my thoughts and prayers even when I do not. Tonight, I put this before You. I pray for the women who are victimized by this religion. I pray for any and all of those who are training to martyr themselves in the hopes of paradise. Lord God, this is nothing but a lie from the very pits of hell! I do not understand how anyone would so freely serve a god who expects them to die and kill others to earn their reward. I pray for the people of this religion- that their eyes will be opened. So many say that they serve the same god we do. No, this is not at all true! You, Lord God, are the God of love and peace and forgiveness! You have never called us to kill unbelievers! You tell us to forgive those who hurt us. The Muslim god calls for death to those who do not believe as they do.
I continue to pray for Congresswoman Giffords. Continue to heal her heart, mind, body and soul from this vicious attack against her.
I pray for this nation. I pray that we would be united, standing up for what this nation truly stands for!
I pray for our president. Give him wisdom. Humble his heart.
I pray for the nation and people of Israel. There is such a hatred for Your chosen people, Lord God. I know this is foretold in Your Word, but my heart truly aches at the hostility that is directed at them. Protect them and keep them always!
I pray all of these things in the precious Name of Jesus Christ- Amen.
Who Can Satisfy
Words and Music by Dennis Jernigan
Who can satisfy my soul
Who on earth can comfort me
And love me like You do
Who could ever be more faithful and true
I will trust in You
I will trust in You my God
There is a fountain
Who is a King
Victorious warrior and Lord of everything
My rock my shleter my very own
Blessed Redeemer
Who reigns upon the throne
Who could ever be more faithful and true
I will trust in You
I will trust in You
I will trust in You my God
Who reigns upon the throne
Who reigns upon the throne
© 1989 Shepherd's Heart Music, Inc.
This recording is not very good, but the song is AWESOME!
My victorious Warrior reigns upon the throne!
Some time ago, I was listening to a sermon online by Dr. David Jeremiah. Before the sermon started, the choir at his church sang a song that drew me in. It's just one of those songs you cannot get out of your head. So, I went searching. It's not a highly popular song, so I have not really been able to find a decent recording of it. Oh, how I wish I could have a copy of his church choir singing it!
I will enclose the lyrics of the song, as well as a YouTube video of it at the end of this post.
In listening to the song I began to think about the words and the meaning of them in my life. I guess that is one reason why it hit me the way it did.
Putting all this in perspective in another way is the fact that I am doing my Spring Cleaning. If you read my previous post you know that it has turned into a completely different project this year than it has any other year.
I- we- my family... has all this STUFF! So much of it there is absolutely no purpose or reason for having it. It is just here, occupying space, and in some instances, actually getting in the way.
I am actually a very sentimental person. After my first husband's suicide I went through counseling and Survivors of Suicide group therapy. One thing that I realized through that process and my overall healing is that all the stuff is not the memories. The memories last forever. The stuff is just that... stuff!
Another thing I came to realize over the overall healing process is that sometimes we hold onto things for sentimental reasons and rather than helping us they in fact hurt us. While I loved my first husband, we had a very tumultuous relationship in a lot of ways. No, he never physically abused me, but in many ways we did not treat each other with love and respect.
I've gone through several different periods of cleaning out. Before this process I would have held onto everything I could just because it was some link to the past. But as I began the deep soul-searching in my healing I realized that in some of these things the memories are not pleasant at all. So I began to question myself on why I would hold onto things that do not bring me happy memories.
This Spring Cleaning is different from that in that I am not getting rid of bad memories... I am simply getting rid of things that do not have a purpose and a reason to share space with my family and I in our home.
So, in all of this, again, my mind has been whirling. I'm sure by now, if you've read any of my blog, you know that I tend to think things over too much sometimes. So I have been asking myself, "Why? Why do we have all of these things if we do not really need them?" As I've pondered this, I've come to realize a lot of things.
I am not the kind of person that thinks "things" are the key to happiness. I am also one of the rare women who absolutely DETESTS shopping! If I go shopping I go get exactly what I need and get out. I absolutely HATE shopping for clothes with a purple passion because I know I am going to have to try things on! This just takes up too much of my time!
But yet I still get caught up in this rat race. I too am looking for "satisfaction" in things.
For me I think it is more the "satisfaction of being prepared"... you know, "well, one day I may need this!"
And yet, interestingly enough I am absolutely not a pack-rat! Everything has to have it's place! Unfortunately, too many things have a place!
How often we look for everything in the world to satisfy our soul. We chase fame and fortune, friends, the coolest car, the best job.... the list could go on and on.
We are chasing everything and everyone to give us the satisfaction we crave. There is an overflowing fountain that can and will satisfy every craving of our soul. He is The King of kings! He is a victorious Warrior fighting for us in all that we do. He is The Lord of everything that is, has been or ever will be. He is my Rock. He is my Shelter. He is my very own! He is my blessed Redeemer Who reigns upon the throne! He is indeed the only One Who can satisfy the cravings of my soul.
My Jesus... You alone satisfy all that I need! I have many blessings in my life, but the only true satsifcation is in You.
Lord God, please forgive me for losing sight in the rat-race that is life. I am the world's worst in slowing down. I know that You understand me like no other person ever will. You created me. You know what makes me tick. And You know how to reach me when I'm fluttering around. Most of the time it is through music.
I pray tonight for anyone who reads this blog and sees themselves in anything that I have written. I pray that You will use my passion for writing to bless other lives.
Lord.... tonight I pray for those of the Muslim faith. This has been an issue that has been truly on my heart. I've not known exactly how to pray for them, but it has been a constant on my mind and heart for years. I know that You know my thoughts and prayers even when I do not. Tonight, I put this before You. I pray for the women who are victimized by this religion. I pray for any and all of those who are training to martyr themselves in the hopes of paradise. Lord God, this is nothing but a lie from the very pits of hell! I do not understand how anyone would so freely serve a god who expects them to die and kill others to earn their reward. I pray for the people of this religion- that their eyes will be opened. So many say that they serve the same god we do. No, this is not at all true! You, Lord God, are the God of love and peace and forgiveness! You have never called us to kill unbelievers! You tell us to forgive those who hurt us. The Muslim god calls for death to those who do not believe as they do.
I continue to pray for Congresswoman Giffords. Continue to heal her heart, mind, body and soul from this vicious attack against her.
I pray for this nation. I pray that we would be united, standing up for what this nation truly stands for!
I pray for our president. Give him wisdom. Humble his heart.
I pray for the nation and people of Israel. There is such a hatred for Your chosen people, Lord God. I know this is foretold in Your Word, but my heart truly aches at the hostility that is directed at them. Protect them and keep them always!
I pray all of these things in the precious Name of Jesus Christ- Amen.
Who Can Satisfy
Words and Music by Dennis Jernigan
Who can satisfy my soul
Who on earth can comfort me
And love me like You do
Who could ever be more faithful and true
I will trust in You
I will trust in You my God
There is a fountain
Who is a King
Victorious warrior and Lord of everything
My rock my shleter my very own
Blessed Redeemer
Who reigns upon the throne
Who could ever be more faithful and true
I will trust in You
I will trust in You
I will trust in You my God
Who reigns upon the throne
Who reigns upon the throne
© 1989 Shepherd's Heart Music, Inc.
This recording is not very good, but the song is AWESOME!
My victorious Warrior reigns upon the throne!
Friday, March 25, 2011
YES, THIS COUNTS!
I received an email today that is going to be the topic of today's post. My brother sent me the email, and he had added a note that yes, this was his niece (his wife's sister's daughter). I called him and asked him if he could get their permission to post the picture on my blog entry for today, because I have never seen anything so beautiful in all of my life!
When I talked to my brother after he talked to his brother-in-law, he told me he was surprised to find out that it is not his niece! This is an email that was actually forwarded to his brother-in-law. They are all amazed at how much like this little girl my brother's niece actually looks.
So, I am going to post the picture, as the note at the bottom of the page says to forward to your friends. If the parents of this child sees the picture and would like it to be removed, please let me know. I would never want to offend them in any ways.
So, before I go any further, here is the email text, as well as the picture, of the original email I was sent:
When I talked to my brother after he talked to his brother-in-law, he told me he was surprised to find out that it is not his niece! This is an email that was actually forwarded to his brother-in-law. They are all amazed at how much like this little girl my brother's niece actually looks.
So, I am going to post the picture, as the note at the bottom of the page says to forward to your friends. If the parents of this child sees the picture and would like it to be removed, please let me know. I would never want to offend them in any ways.
So, before I go any further, here is the email text, as well as the picture, of the original email I was sent:
Matthew 18:20
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
DOES THIS COUNT?
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
DOES THIS COUNT?
Yes, this most definitely counts, sweetheart!
This little girl understands more than most adults do. While I believe that it is imperative and very beneficial to read, study, disect, meditate and analyze Scripture to grow in our faith, walk and understanding of God, I beleive that a lot of times our analyzing gets in the way of the true heart of the matter. As my husband has said before, too often, the most "intellectual" of minds have absolutely no faith in God because He cannot be explained. Faith is believing in the unseen.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
A WRETCH LIKE ME
This time of the year is extremely special to me. On February 25, 2004, a movie was released that reaches down into the very depths of my soul. While I know the story well, I've never seen it depicted in this exact way.
The movie I am referring to is, "The Passion Of The Christ".
Within the first month after the movie was released, my husband and I went to the theatre 7 times to see it. At the time, we were Youth Leaders at our church. Since the movie was rated "R" due to the extreme violence depicted, we were required to view the movie before taking students to see it. For the students to see the movie their parents had to sign a permission form, for the exact same reason.
I was raised in a Christian home. I often joke that I went to church before I entered the world, and started my entry into the world at church! My Mom actually went into labor during the Sunday night service. A funny side story here that my mom loves to tell. She went to the restroom, and her water broke. Obviously, she had to send someone in to get my Dad.
My grandparents, as well as a couple of my aunts and uncles went to the same church. My Dad sent one of the ushers in to let my grandparents know what was going on. It was at this very moment that the congregation was sitting, and the choir was getting ready to sing. My grandfather did not realize what was going on, so he was standing up, in the middle of the church, looking at my aunt, who was in the choir, shaking his head "yes" So this is how the congregation knew I was ready to make my entrance into the world!
Well, I've gotten a bit off track here. But, the point of telling this funny little tidbit of my life is to say that yes, I attended church regularly as a child. When the church doors were open, we were there. I knew the words of the old hymns by heart. In fact, I was even known to give a concert for my grandparents at the drop of a hat! There are even pictures of the performances, my "brush microphone" in hand.
Even if you are not a church-goer, it's quite likely you know the words to the ever-famous hymn, "Amazing Grace." In fact, there is now even a movie of how the hymn came to be. This was one of the songs that I loved to sing the most.
Strangely enough, though I have known the words of "Amazing Grace" by heart pretty much since I uttered my first words, It was not until I was 31-years-old that I truly grasped the true meaning of this beautiful hymn.
The movie I am referring to is, "The Passion Of The Christ".
Within the first month after the movie was released, my husband and I went to the theatre 7 times to see it. At the time, we were Youth Leaders at our church. Since the movie was rated "R" due to the extreme violence depicted, we were required to view the movie before taking students to see it. For the students to see the movie their parents had to sign a permission form, for the exact same reason.
I was raised in a Christian home. I often joke that I went to church before I entered the world, and started my entry into the world at church! My Mom actually went into labor during the Sunday night service. A funny side story here that my mom loves to tell. She went to the restroom, and her water broke. Obviously, she had to send someone in to get my Dad.
My grandparents, as well as a couple of my aunts and uncles went to the same church. My Dad sent one of the ushers in to let my grandparents know what was going on. It was at this very moment that the congregation was sitting, and the choir was getting ready to sing. My grandfather did not realize what was going on, so he was standing up, in the middle of the church, looking at my aunt, who was in the choir, shaking his head "yes" So this is how the congregation knew I was ready to make my entrance into the world!
Well, I've gotten a bit off track here. But, the point of telling this funny little tidbit of my life is to say that yes, I attended church regularly as a child. When the church doors were open, we were there. I knew the words of the old hymns by heart. In fact, I was even known to give a concert for my grandparents at the drop of a hat! There are even pictures of the performances, my "brush microphone" in hand.
Even if you are not a church-goer, it's quite likely you know the words to the ever-famous hymn, "Amazing Grace." In fact, there is now even a movie of how the hymn came to be. This was one of the songs that I loved to sing the most.
Strangely enough, though I have known the words of "Amazing Grace" by heart pretty much since I uttered my first words, It was not until I was 31-years-old that I truly grasped the true meaning of this beautiful hymn.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
LIFE IS A PUZZLE
After my first husband committed suicide, my life as I knew it literally ceased to exist. Everything that I knew, believed and lived shattered into a million pieces. It was at this point that God lovingly picked up one, single piece of my shattered, brokenness and placed it in the middle of His canvas, which is my life.
All of the shattered pieces of my former life are still there today. While it may not appear that way, the shattered, broken pieces have been lovingly healed and mended by the hands of The Master Who created me and loves me so dearly. Many, many pieces have been loving placed where they belong, and yet, many others still are in the process of mending and healing.
One thing that God showed me, after my husband died, was how yes, we are indeed created in the image of God. However, as humans, most everything we do is opposite of the way God does things. It is a strange concept, in one sense. Yet, it makes perfect sense as well.
An image is a reflection of an actual thing, not the thing itself. When you look in the mirror at yourself, it is the opposite of reality. Your right side appears to be the left side, and vice versa.
When you work a puzzle, what is the first thing that you do? You start with the outside pieces, and put the entire border together. At least, this is the way I do it, and this is the way I've seen most people work a puzzle.
God began to show me that my life is a puzzle in progress at the work of His loving hands.
All of the shattered pieces of my former life are still there today. While it may not appear that way, the shattered, broken pieces have been lovingly healed and mended by the hands of The Master Who created me and loves me so dearly. Many, many pieces have been loving placed where they belong, and yet, many others still are in the process of mending and healing.
One thing that God showed me, after my husband died, was how yes, we are indeed created in the image of God. However, as humans, most everything we do is opposite of the way God does things. It is a strange concept, in one sense. Yet, it makes perfect sense as well.
An image is a reflection of an actual thing, not the thing itself. When you look in the mirror at yourself, it is the opposite of reality. Your right side appears to be the left side, and vice versa.
When you work a puzzle, what is the first thing that you do? You start with the outside pieces, and put the entire border together. At least, this is the way I do it, and this is the way I've seen most people work a puzzle.
God began to show me that my life is a puzzle in progress at the work of His loving hands.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
LEADERSHIP DEFINED
"A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go, but ought to go." Unknown
I found this quote today on a graphic as I was doing research for another project I am working on. I tweeted it out, because it really hit home to me.
Before I became a mommy, I was on staff at our church in the Youth Department. I was basically the female Youth Pastor, though I did not have the official title.
I will try to keep my "church history" as brief as possible, because that's not what this post is about. However, I do believe it is important to set up my thought process in all of this.
I was raised in a very legalistic church. My brother and I were both known as the "black sheep" of the church because our parents raised us to make our own decisions, not just follow along.
When I was 14-years-old I was sexually assaulted. As a very naive' 14-year-old, I was totally shocked, not only at what had happened, but that it was even possible. This event sent me on a downward spiral that would last a decade and a half or so.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I WILL BLESS THOSE WHO BLESS YOU
"I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you." Genesis 12:3
Israel is the time piece and compass for everything that happens. Israel is God Almighty's time piece.
God makes it very clear that all blessings and curses are administered by how Israel is treated.
Israel is the time piece and compass for everything that happens. Israel is God Almighty's time piece.
God makes it very clear that all blessings and curses are administered by how Israel is treated.
Monday, March 14, 2011
OVER MY COLD DEAD BODY
I read an article today that made my blood run cold, and in the very next second, my blood began to boil! I am attaching the link for you to read.
The Islamic Demolition of the Statue of Liberty
No matter your political views, if you do not look at the State of Liberty and get choked up, you have no business living in the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave. The image of this tall, brave lady standing on our shores, beckoning to all who seek a life of liberty, freedom, and the opportunity to become all you dream to be. No, she doesn't GUARANTEE you success- but she provides every opportunity you could ever imagine.
The Islamic Demolition of the Statue of Liberty
No matter your political views, if you do not look at the State of Liberty and get choked up, you have no business living in the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave. The image of this tall, brave lady standing on our shores, beckoning to all who seek a life of liberty, freedom, and the opportunity to become all you dream to be. No, she doesn't GUARANTEE you success- but she provides every opportunity you could ever imagine.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
WHAT IS BEING ACCOMPLISHED?
I am a very active member of twitter. For me, it is my "outlet" to be informed on the goings-on of the world and connect with like minded people. There are many people that enjoy the heavy debate of those on the other side of the political aisle. I cannot say that. Yes, I most definitely like to hear other views, but unless they are debating the issues with common sense they have absolutely no chance of swaying my view on things. There are many things I am rock solid on in my beliefs and will not change. Other things I am not so rock solid on, and maybe my views can be changed if common sense is used in the debate. There are also things that I know absolutely nothing about, so learning different views helps me to come to my own decision on how I feel about it.
There have been many people to seek me out, arguing against this tweet or that tweet that I've sent out. There has only been one person out of any of those who I have actually become friends with. There have been a couple of people that I was able to basically agree to disagree with, and go our separate ways. Unfortunately, most of the time I just end up ignoring them, or if that doesn't work, and they persist, I block them. I just do not have the time or patience to deal with someone who refuses to accept that I have different views than they do. Hey, you have the right to your own opinions and feelings, as do I. I do not try to change your opinions and feelings, stop trying to change mine unless you want to have a sensible conversation built on common sense.
There have been many people to seek me out, arguing against this tweet or that tweet that I've sent out. There has only been one person out of any of those who I have actually become friends with. There have been a couple of people that I was able to basically agree to disagree with, and go our separate ways. Unfortunately, most of the time I just end up ignoring them, or if that doesn't work, and they persist, I block them. I just do not have the time or patience to deal with someone who refuses to accept that I have different views than they do. Hey, you have the right to your own opinions and feelings, as do I. I do not try to change your opinions and feelings, stop trying to change mine unless you want to have a sensible conversation built on common sense.
Monday, February 7, 2011
BROKEN MORAL COMPASS
Over the last several years there have been more and more stories of sexual abuse that just boggle my mind. Yes, I know that sexual abuse has happened throughout the ages, and it's just now becoming more talked about. What is shocking to me is how many women are accused of sexually abusing children.
While any sexual abuse is reprehensible, it's almost "expected" that a fair number of girls will be molested in their childhood. It's not right, it's not acceptable at all, but I think there is semblance of "expectation", so to speak, because of the depravity of our society.
While any sexual abuse is reprehensible, it's almost "expected" that a fair number of girls will be molested in their childhood. It's not right, it's not acceptable at all, but I think there is semblance of "expectation", so to speak, because of the depravity of our society.
Monday, January 24, 2011
EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS A CHOICE
We cannot make people to accept our beliefs. The beauty of life is the choices we make. In fact, I believe this is one of the main things that define us as a person- the choices we make. As the song says, yes, we are indeed more than the choices we make; however, the choices we make culminate together to make us the person we are.
Everything in life is a choice. Every single choice we make has a consequence- good or bad.
I am somewhat of a klutz. Try as I may, it is almost a given that at any meal I am going to drop something on myself. The example I use to teach my kids choices and consequences starts with this anomaly about their Mommy.
Each morning when I get up and choose my clothes, there are going to be consequences. If I have an appointment or event where I need to look nice, I need to keep in mind how prone I am to dropping food. If I wear a white shirt and drop something on myself it is going to be glaringly obvious. If I wear a darker shirt or a print shirt, it won't be so obvious.
I like using this as an example because it is a benign situation. The world is not going to stop if I wear a white shirt and have a spot on it during an appointment. However, it will probably be a bit embarrassing.
Kids are naturally curious, so when they discover that someone has a different belief than they do, it brings about curiosity and questions. My kids were stunned to realize that not all of their friends believe in God. I told them that everyone has to make that choice for themselves. I cannot choose for my kids to believe in God, and they cannot choose for their friends to believe in God. They can only make that choice for themselves, personally. Each one of us will give an account for our own lives. I will not give an account for your life- you will. (Romans 14:12)
Some people believe it is not right to question God, must less question whether or not He exists. I believe questioning things you believe is healthy. In fact, Thomas Jefferson said, "Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear."
I had not heard this quote until a few years ago. By this point in my life I had already come to understand God's grace and mercy. However, I wish- oh, how I wish- I had heard this quote MANY years ago.
My number one spiritual gift is faith. Faith is belief that is not based on proof. Or, as Hebrews 11:1 says,"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. "
I have never doubted in the existence of God. I just did not believe I could ever please Him. All I understood was man-made rules, what God "expected" of us, and how displeased with us He is if we do not "live up to His expectations". Living with this understanding and belief, I could not be "good enough". I would mess up, and feel miserable. I would promise God I would never, ever make that mistake again... only to do it all over again, sometimes in the very same day.
Once I truly understood that this is the very reason why God sent Jesus to die for our sins, it all made sense to me. I was raised in a Christian home and went to church every time the doors were open. Yet, I viewed God through legalistic lenses, not through eyes that understand His Amazing Grace. I feared Him, and I do not mean in the reverent, holy fear. I was so afraid that at any moment He was going to get fed up with my mistakes and that would be it for me. When I finally gave up on religious rules and started living a life of Freedom in Christ, everything changed.
Last night, while talking to my new friend on twitter, she told me she thinks I am too hard on myself when I said none of us are good enough... not even me. I am sure she understood me to mean that I believe that I just keep trying to get "it" right, and just can't seem to. I used to be that way, but not any longer.
That is the beauty of God's grace. I don't have to try to be good enough. Now that I understand God's grace, it is my desire to live a life that is pleasing to Him. When I mess up- on a DAILY basis- I know His grace is sufficient. I no longer buy into Satan's lies that God is disappointed in me.
I think the real question comes down to this. Who determines what "good enough" is? In a world where everything is subjective, how can I have peace when every one's definition of "good enough" is different? If you have ever lied, it could be said that you are untrustworthy. I do not know anyone who has never told a lie!
The world compares actions and deeds against another person to see how they measure up. That means someone, somewhere down the line, is on the losing end of measuring up.
With God's grace, we all have the same opportunity. None of us have to be on the losing end, because God does not compare us. It is our choice, plain and simple. Good deeds do not save us. Accepting that there is nothing we can do to earn eternal entrance into heaven is very freeing. For someone who likes to be in control of things, it is a double edged sword. Trying to control everything to be good enough, I eventually fail. I have to give up control. Which means the burden is not on me. It now belongs to Jesus. No, this does not mean I go out and do evil things, believing that I will be forgiven. It's not a free ticket to do wrong. It's the opposite. It's the desire to do what is right, but when I make a wrong decision I know I am not condemned. This is truly freedom.
As I said above, all things in life comes down to choice. America, we are at a cross-roads in our history. I ask again if anyone will humble themselves with me in prayer for this nation. We must turn away from the ugliness, repent for where we have gone wrong.
I pray again today for Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. I believe that God has mighty things in store for this lady. I pray that her rehab is going well. I am sure it is exhausting for her, so I pray that He will give her strength as she does her various tasks through rehab, and rest when she is finished each day. I pray that she will have grace on herself, not to push herself too hard, but to push hard enough that she grows stronger each day. I pray that she will be able to forgive the man that did this to her. I pray that she does not let unforgiveness stay in her heart and make her bitter. Bitterness destroys a person. I continue to pray for her husband Mark Kelly. May he draw his strength from The Lord.
I pray for today's court proceeding. I am very frustrated that our legal system takes so long to hand out justice. I read an article that said this case could drag on for years in the courts. I pray that this is not the case. I pray, by some miracle of God, that this will be swift and just. I still pray that this man's heart will be broken for God, and that he will seek forgiveness for the evil he has committed. But I pray that he is not allowed to manipulate the system and avoid justice. Ms. Giffords, Mr. Kelly, all those who were shot or lost family or friends that day, and the nation as a whole deserve to have this dealt with and resolved.
I am so thankful for the opportunities that God has granted me. I am thankful to be used by Him each day. I am thankful to have a life of peace. I am thankful to be a wife and mother. I pray blessings on this day. In the Name of Jesus- Amen.
Everything in life is a choice. Every single choice we make has a consequence- good or bad.
I am somewhat of a klutz. Try as I may, it is almost a given that at any meal I am going to drop something on myself. The example I use to teach my kids choices and consequences starts with this anomaly about their Mommy.
Each morning when I get up and choose my clothes, there are going to be consequences. If I have an appointment or event where I need to look nice, I need to keep in mind how prone I am to dropping food. If I wear a white shirt and drop something on myself it is going to be glaringly obvious. If I wear a darker shirt or a print shirt, it won't be so obvious.
I like using this as an example because it is a benign situation. The world is not going to stop if I wear a white shirt and have a spot on it during an appointment. However, it will probably be a bit embarrassing.
Kids are naturally curious, so when they discover that someone has a different belief than they do, it brings about curiosity and questions. My kids were stunned to realize that not all of their friends believe in God. I told them that everyone has to make that choice for themselves. I cannot choose for my kids to believe in God, and they cannot choose for their friends to believe in God. They can only make that choice for themselves, personally. Each one of us will give an account for our own lives. I will not give an account for your life- you will. (Romans 14:12)
Some people believe it is not right to question God, must less question whether or not He exists. I believe questioning things you believe is healthy. In fact, Thomas Jefferson said, "Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear."
I had not heard this quote until a few years ago. By this point in my life I had already come to understand God's grace and mercy. However, I wish- oh, how I wish- I had heard this quote MANY years ago.
My number one spiritual gift is faith. Faith is belief that is not based on proof. Or, as Hebrews 11:1 says,"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. "
I have never doubted in the existence of God. I just did not believe I could ever please Him. All I understood was man-made rules, what God "expected" of us, and how displeased with us He is if we do not "live up to His expectations". Living with this understanding and belief, I could not be "good enough". I would mess up, and feel miserable. I would promise God I would never, ever make that mistake again... only to do it all over again, sometimes in the very same day.
Once I truly understood that this is the very reason why God sent Jesus to die for our sins, it all made sense to me. I was raised in a Christian home and went to church every time the doors were open. Yet, I viewed God through legalistic lenses, not through eyes that understand His Amazing Grace. I feared Him, and I do not mean in the reverent, holy fear. I was so afraid that at any moment He was going to get fed up with my mistakes and that would be it for me. When I finally gave up on religious rules and started living a life of Freedom in Christ, everything changed.
Last night, while talking to my new friend on twitter, she told me she thinks I am too hard on myself when I said none of us are good enough... not even me. I am sure she understood me to mean that I believe that I just keep trying to get "it" right, and just can't seem to. I used to be that way, but not any longer.
That is the beauty of God's grace. I don't have to try to be good enough. Now that I understand God's grace, it is my desire to live a life that is pleasing to Him. When I mess up- on a DAILY basis- I know His grace is sufficient. I no longer buy into Satan's lies that God is disappointed in me.
I think the real question comes down to this. Who determines what "good enough" is? In a world where everything is subjective, how can I have peace when every one's definition of "good enough" is different? If you have ever lied, it could be said that you are untrustworthy. I do not know anyone who has never told a lie!
The world compares actions and deeds against another person to see how they measure up. That means someone, somewhere down the line, is on the losing end of measuring up.
With God's grace, we all have the same opportunity. None of us have to be on the losing end, because God does not compare us. It is our choice, plain and simple. Good deeds do not save us. Accepting that there is nothing we can do to earn eternal entrance into heaven is very freeing. For someone who likes to be in control of things, it is a double edged sword. Trying to control everything to be good enough, I eventually fail. I have to give up control. Which means the burden is not on me. It now belongs to Jesus. No, this does not mean I go out and do evil things, believing that I will be forgiven. It's not a free ticket to do wrong. It's the opposite. It's the desire to do what is right, but when I make a wrong decision I know I am not condemned. This is truly freedom.
As I said above, all things in life comes down to choice. America, we are at a cross-roads in our history. I ask again if anyone will humble themselves with me in prayer for this nation. We must turn away from the ugliness, repent for where we have gone wrong.
I pray again today for Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. I believe that God has mighty things in store for this lady. I pray that her rehab is going well. I am sure it is exhausting for her, so I pray that He will give her strength as she does her various tasks through rehab, and rest when she is finished each day. I pray that she will have grace on herself, not to push herself too hard, but to push hard enough that she grows stronger each day. I pray that she will be able to forgive the man that did this to her. I pray that she does not let unforgiveness stay in her heart and make her bitter. Bitterness destroys a person. I continue to pray for her husband Mark Kelly. May he draw his strength from The Lord.
I pray for today's court proceeding. I am very frustrated that our legal system takes so long to hand out justice. I read an article that said this case could drag on for years in the courts. I pray that this is not the case. I pray, by some miracle of God, that this will be swift and just. I still pray that this man's heart will be broken for God, and that he will seek forgiveness for the evil he has committed. But I pray that he is not allowed to manipulate the system and avoid justice. Ms. Giffords, Mr. Kelly, all those who were shot or lost family or friends that day, and the nation as a whole deserve to have this dealt with and resolved.
I am so thankful for the opportunities that God has granted me. I am thankful to be used by Him each day. I am thankful to have a life of peace. I am thankful to be a wife and mother. I pray blessings on this day. In the Name of Jesus- Amen.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
COUNTLESS LIVES HAVE BEEN AFFECTED
I watched the interview with Mark Kelly, the husband of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, last night. My heart ached as he talked about seeing the misinformation that his wife had died. My heart smiled as I listed to him talk about their love, in spite of the distance that is often between them.
In the days that have passed since this tragedy, Mr. Kelly has been in my thoughts and prayers much of the time. As I watched the news on that Saturday, in the beginning, as they were reporting that she had died, my heart ached for her family. I know what it is like to lose a spouse in a tragedy. While my tragedy was not national news, grief is no respecter of persons. If you love someone, it hurts when you lose that person.
When reports started coming out that Ms. Giffords had not died, that she was in surgery, all I could do is pray, and stay glued to the TV. Literally all day long, I just sat, watching for some news of her. My husband would ask me throughout the day if I was OK, if I wanted to talk. I didn't really know what to say.
It wasn't until a couple of days later that I put my finger on why I was so drawn in by this story. Yes, while it is completely different from my tragedy, I identified with the heart break that was going on in Arizona. While Ms. Giffords was still in critical condition, hope was looking up for her. However, there were still senseless deaths that happened that day.
Countless lives have been affected by this tragedy. As I have talked about and prayed from the beginning of this blog the day after the tragedy in Arizona, the family of Ms. Giffords, the families of all those who were killed that day, the families of those who were shot but lived through it, the family of the shooter, the first responders, those who were shopping in the Shopping Center that day.... the list goes on and on. Countless lives were affected that day.
I have learned that the only comfort for me in these times is Jesus. Talking to Him, writing to Him, crying to Him, just being in His presence is the only comfort that truly soothes my soul. Yes, the pain is still there, but it is bearable because He is there. I truly cast my cares on Him.
Yesterday, as I read the news of Connor Mennings committing suicide at school, once again, my heart ached. It's been almost 10 years since my first husband shot himself, taking his own life. That horrible night is forever etched in my mind's eye. While the nightmares are not nearly as often as they were in the first days, weeks, months and years past this tragedy, that scene changed me. I have a new understanding of true terror. I could not change what was happening before my very eyes.
I have asked myself countless times what could I have done. Could I have said something that would have made a difference? I will never know the answer to that question. What I do know is that the aftermath of this tragedy changed many lives forever. Yes, God, in His infinite beauty and love, has turned this horrible tragedy for good (Romans 8:28). He has used me and allowed me to be open to share my grief and experience with others, so they know that they are not alone. When I was living this nightmare, there was so very few people I could talk to. My prayer is that God will allow me to continually turn this tragedy for good, by letting me be there to help others who are going through a tragedy like this. It is my prayer that my life can be seen as an example of how when you let Jesus have the pieces of your shattered life, He will lovingly and gently and patiently put your life back together. No, it will never be the same as it was before. Yes, there will always be a hollow place in your heart that aches and echoes with the loss of your loved one or the pain you have experienced. But that pain and echo can become beautiful when the love and light of Jesus shines through it.
Today, I continue to pray for all the lives that have been affected in these two tragedies. I continue to pray for Congresswoman Giffords, Mark Kelly, and their extended family and friends. I pray for all those families who lost loved ones and friends on that horrible day. I pray for this country, as politicians jockey to take advantage of this tragedy. I pray for common sense to prevail, as things are getting completely ridiculous, with the political correctness that is being pushed. I pray for the blame game to stop, and accountability to be allowed to happen. I pray for justice to be carried out to the man who committed this horrible crime. I pray for his soul, that he would repent of his sins, and turn to the forgiving mercy and grace of Christ Jesus. Again, I believe just punishment for this crime should be the death penalty for his mortal life, but I continue to pray for his immortal soul.
I pray for the family and friends of Connor Mennings. I pray for the teachers and students at his school. I pray for the youth across this country who feel that suicide is the only answer the pain they are experiencing. Yes, I most definitely believe that their pain is real. However, I know that suicide is NEVER the answer! Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. I pray that those who do not know the love, mercy and grace of my Savior, Jesus Christ, will seek Him. If you seek, you will find Him. I could have never made it through the tragedy I went through without having Jesus to comfort me. The pain was still there, but my healing was only possible because of the love of Jesus Christ. Of this, I have absolutely no doubt.
I pray that all those who have been affected by these tragedies will find it inside themselves to forgive. I learned the hard way that you have to go through all the stages of grief. I pray that each of these people will allow themselves to walk through this process. I fought part of the process, and it just prolonged my grief and healing. This is a natural process that must take place for true healing to take place. I believe this is why so many people never heal from the tragic events in their lives.
I pray that each of these tragedies will be turned to something beautiful. Many will not be able to see how that is eve possible. I did not see how it could be in my tragedy for many years. And the beauty did not come from me- the beauty came from Jesus. It truly is a miracle, just as Ms. Giffords living through this is a miracle. All praise, glory and honor be to Jesus Christ.
I pray all of these things in the Name of Jesus Christ- Amen.
In the days that have passed since this tragedy, Mr. Kelly has been in my thoughts and prayers much of the time. As I watched the news on that Saturday, in the beginning, as they were reporting that she had died, my heart ached for her family. I know what it is like to lose a spouse in a tragedy. While my tragedy was not national news, grief is no respecter of persons. If you love someone, it hurts when you lose that person.
When reports started coming out that Ms. Giffords had not died, that she was in surgery, all I could do is pray, and stay glued to the TV. Literally all day long, I just sat, watching for some news of her. My husband would ask me throughout the day if I was OK, if I wanted to talk. I didn't really know what to say.
It wasn't until a couple of days later that I put my finger on why I was so drawn in by this story. Yes, while it is completely different from my tragedy, I identified with the heart break that was going on in Arizona. While Ms. Giffords was still in critical condition, hope was looking up for her. However, there were still senseless deaths that happened that day.
Countless lives have been affected by this tragedy. As I have talked about and prayed from the beginning of this blog the day after the tragedy in Arizona, the family of Ms. Giffords, the families of all those who were killed that day, the families of those who were shot but lived through it, the family of the shooter, the first responders, those who were shopping in the Shopping Center that day.... the list goes on and on. Countless lives were affected that day.
I have learned that the only comfort for me in these times is Jesus. Talking to Him, writing to Him, crying to Him, just being in His presence is the only comfort that truly soothes my soul. Yes, the pain is still there, but it is bearable because He is there. I truly cast my cares on Him.
Yesterday, as I read the news of Connor Mennings committing suicide at school, once again, my heart ached. It's been almost 10 years since my first husband shot himself, taking his own life. That horrible night is forever etched in my mind's eye. While the nightmares are not nearly as often as they were in the first days, weeks, months and years past this tragedy, that scene changed me. I have a new understanding of true terror. I could not change what was happening before my very eyes.
I have asked myself countless times what could I have done. Could I have said something that would have made a difference? I will never know the answer to that question. What I do know is that the aftermath of this tragedy changed many lives forever. Yes, God, in His infinite beauty and love, has turned this horrible tragedy for good (Romans 8:28). He has used me and allowed me to be open to share my grief and experience with others, so they know that they are not alone. When I was living this nightmare, there was so very few people I could talk to. My prayer is that God will allow me to continually turn this tragedy for good, by letting me be there to help others who are going through a tragedy like this. It is my prayer that my life can be seen as an example of how when you let Jesus have the pieces of your shattered life, He will lovingly and gently and patiently put your life back together. No, it will never be the same as it was before. Yes, there will always be a hollow place in your heart that aches and echoes with the loss of your loved one or the pain you have experienced. But that pain and echo can become beautiful when the love and light of Jesus shines through it.
Today, I continue to pray for all the lives that have been affected in these two tragedies. I continue to pray for Congresswoman Giffords, Mark Kelly, and their extended family and friends. I pray for all those families who lost loved ones and friends on that horrible day. I pray for this country, as politicians jockey to take advantage of this tragedy. I pray for common sense to prevail, as things are getting completely ridiculous, with the political correctness that is being pushed. I pray for the blame game to stop, and accountability to be allowed to happen. I pray for justice to be carried out to the man who committed this horrible crime. I pray for his soul, that he would repent of his sins, and turn to the forgiving mercy and grace of Christ Jesus. Again, I believe just punishment for this crime should be the death penalty for his mortal life, but I continue to pray for his immortal soul.
I pray for the family and friends of Connor Mennings. I pray for the teachers and students at his school. I pray for the youth across this country who feel that suicide is the only answer the pain they are experiencing. Yes, I most definitely believe that their pain is real. However, I know that suicide is NEVER the answer! Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. I pray that those who do not know the love, mercy and grace of my Savior, Jesus Christ, will seek Him. If you seek, you will find Him. I could have never made it through the tragedy I went through without having Jesus to comfort me. The pain was still there, but my healing was only possible because of the love of Jesus Christ. Of this, I have absolutely no doubt.
I pray that all those who have been affected by these tragedies will find it inside themselves to forgive. I learned the hard way that you have to go through all the stages of grief. I pray that each of these people will allow themselves to walk through this process. I fought part of the process, and it just prolonged my grief and healing. This is a natural process that must take place for true healing to take place. I believe this is why so many people never heal from the tragic events in their lives.
I pray that each of these tragedies will be turned to something beautiful. Many will not be able to see how that is eve possible. I did not see how it could be in my tragedy for many years. And the beauty did not come from me- the beauty came from Jesus. It truly is a miracle, just as Ms. Giffords living through this is a miracle. All praise, glory and honor be to Jesus Christ.
I pray all of these things in the Name of Jesus Christ- Amen.
Monday, January 17, 2011
FROM TRAGEDY TO MIRACLES
I heard on the news this morning that Mark Kelly, Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords husband, has spoken publicly for the first time. It warmed my heart to hear that he has said he would agree to meet with Amy and Randy Loughner, the parents of the man that shot his wife. He said that he does not hold them responsible for their son's actions. This news, along with yesterday's news that Congresswoman Giffords' medical status has been upgraded to serious from critical is great news during this time of tragedy.
Some will probably wonder why I believe it is good news to hear that Mr. Kelly does not hold them responsible for their son's actions. I believe that every step he and the family takes to forgive in this horrendous act is just more healing for them. I pray that someday he and the family, and Ms. Giffords as well, will be able to forgive the man himself, who did this. Forgiveness of him is not for the attacker, but for them- their healing and well-being.
I learned, unfortunately the hard way, that unforgiveness can cause you great harm. It turns into anger, which turns into bitterness if you do not deal with it. Bitterness will destroy you. Forgiveness is not you- the one who has been hurt- not the one who has hurt you. I continue to pray for Congresswoman's Giffords, Mark Kelly, their family and friends. I also continue to pray for each person who was at the supermarket that horrible day. Those who were shot, I pray for complete and quick healing. I pray for all those who witness the attack. I pray for the first responders who were on the scene. I pray for the doctor's who are caring for all these people.
I pray that this tragedy will bring about more miracles in this country. Just as we see Mr. Kelly start the process with the family of the killer, I pray that the country will take notice and follow his example. So many are looking for answers. Who caused this? Why? We may never have the answer of why. Who caused this? Evil. Jared Loughner CHOSE- personally- HIMSELF- to commit this horrible act. Nothing that was done to him caused this. There have been many millions of people who have had horrible, unspeakable things done to them, who have never hurt anyone else. Yes, I most definitely believe in the cycle of abuse. But I believe that ultimately it all comes down to an individual choice. I do not know whether or not there were any abuse done to Jared Loughner. The news has been conflicting on this aspect of the story. But I have also learned the hard way that what you hear on the news is not always the truth- no matter what source you get your news from.
I continue to pray for Jared Loughner. I heard this morning that some of the guards have said that his eyes are pure evil, still. They say he shows no signs of remorse. I pray for those who have contact with him, that God will protect them from the evil that obviously permeates from him. I pray for Jared, that he will be humbled, and surrender his life to God Almighty. I pray that he will repent of his sins, come to know Jesus Christ as his Savior.
I pray that my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus will join me in praying for Ms. Giffords, Mr. Kelly, Mr. and Mrs. Loughner, and Mr. Loughner, as well as this nation. We must come to a place of humility before God, repent for our sins as a nation, so that God Almighty will heal our land.
As always, I pray these things in the precious Name of Jesus Christ- Amen.
Some will probably wonder why I believe it is good news to hear that Mr. Kelly does not hold them responsible for their son's actions. I believe that every step he and the family takes to forgive in this horrendous act is just more healing for them. I pray that someday he and the family, and Ms. Giffords as well, will be able to forgive the man himself, who did this. Forgiveness of him is not for the attacker, but for them- their healing and well-being.
I learned, unfortunately the hard way, that unforgiveness can cause you great harm. It turns into anger, which turns into bitterness if you do not deal with it. Bitterness will destroy you. Forgiveness is not you- the one who has been hurt- not the one who has hurt you. I continue to pray for Congresswoman's Giffords, Mark Kelly, their family and friends. I also continue to pray for each person who was at the supermarket that horrible day. Those who were shot, I pray for complete and quick healing. I pray for all those who witness the attack. I pray for the first responders who were on the scene. I pray for the doctor's who are caring for all these people.
I pray that this tragedy will bring about more miracles in this country. Just as we see Mr. Kelly start the process with the family of the killer, I pray that the country will take notice and follow his example. So many are looking for answers. Who caused this? Why? We may never have the answer of why. Who caused this? Evil. Jared Loughner CHOSE- personally- HIMSELF- to commit this horrible act. Nothing that was done to him caused this. There have been many millions of people who have had horrible, unspeakable things done to them, who have never hurt anyone else. Yes, I most definitely believe in the cycle of abuse. But I believe that ultimately it all comes down to an individual choice. I do not know whether or not there were any abuse done to Jared Loughner. The news has been conflicting on this aspect of the story. But I have also learned the hard way that what you hear on the news is not always the truth- no matter what source you get your news from.
I continue to pray for Jared Loughner. I heard this morning that some of the guards have said that his eyes are pure evil, still. They say he shows no signs of remorse. I pray for those who have contact with him, that God will protect them from the evil that obviously permeates from him. I pray for Jared, that he will be humbled, and surrender his life to God Almighty. I pray that he will repent of his sins, come to know Jesus Christ as his Savior.
I pray that my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus will join me in praying for Ms. Giffords, Mr. Kelly, Mr. and Mrs. Loughner, and Mr. Loughner, as well as this nation. We must come to a place of humility before God, repent for our sins as a nation, so that God Almighty will heal our land.
As always, I pray these things in the precious Name of Jesus Christ- Amen.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
ONE WEEK AGO TODAY
One week ago our nation was struck once again with tragedy. It was as if time stood still as the nation, and the world, watched the aftermath of the shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and 19 other people.
Over the last week, a lot has happened. Thankfully, the perpetrator was arrested at the scene.
However, the tension in our nation has heated up drastically. And today, one of the shooting victims was arrested for making a threat against another person, who he feels is a part of the problem that caused the shooting. (I am assuming this is what he thinks.)
Daily it seems our nation is slipping deeper and deeper into darkness. Yes, there are many, many miracles that have come from this tragedy, least of which is that Congresswoman Giffords is making wonderful progress in her recovery. They say she is not out of the woods yet, but her progress is promising. Today, I continue to pray, as I have every day since this tragedy, that she will make a speedy and complete recovery. I pray that she will be healed and be able to continue serving in Congress. I pray that her husband will continue to have strength, resolve, courage and peace during this continued recovery. I pray that he will find it within him to forgive the man that committed this horrible act, just as Congresswoman Giffords will, and all the others who were attacked last Saturday. I pray for each of them to be able to forgive him, so that their hearts may be at peace. I pray against the unforgiveness that would cause bitterness to destroy each of them.
I continue to pray for Jared Loughner. I pray that he will come to a place of repentance. As always, I pray that he will receive justice for his actions, which in my mind; the only justice would be the death penalty. I pray for Jared’s parents. I pray that they will find peace and comfort in Jesus Christ. This has to be devastating to them. I pray for their marriage. Lord, I pray that You will bind them together in Your love. Help them to forgive their son.
I pray for this nation. I pray that the accusations would stop. I pray that people would stop trying to use this tragedy to further their agenda. I pray that none of our freedoms are jeopardized because of this violent act.
I pray for this nation to humble herself before You, Lord God. I know that You will heal our land, if we will humble ourselves and repent from our wicked ways. We have strayed so far from You, Jesus. The apathy that runs deep in the veins of America is frightening. This is not the country I grew up in. Lord, please wrap Your arms around this nation. Reveal Yourself to her in a way she’s never experienced. Soften hearts to Your ways. Draw us closer to You, Lord God.
I pray these things in the Name of Jesus- Amen.
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