Saturday, January 22, 2011


I have personally witnessed what the vast majority of people will never experience.

A couple of days ago, I had someone send me a tweet that was not a follower of mine, and I was not a follower of hers. I do not remember the first question she asked me, but after looking at her profile, I simply responded that it seemed as though we agree on very little in our beliefs and views of life, so debating the issue would simply be a waste of both of our time.

I did not mean it disrespectfully. I am just a very busy person. I am a wife and mom of five, so I have responsibilities throughout the day that demand my attention. When I am online, I want to unwind. It is what I guess you would call one of my few "outlets". While I do have friends in the real world, very few of them are fascinated by politics and the things going on in the world as I and my husband are, so Twitter is my forum to be involved and vent and discuss things that are important to me.

The next day, this very same lady tweeted me again, in response to another tweet I had sent out. I must admit, I was very....hmmmmm..... well, a mixture of things, I guess. I was on guard, but also a bit leery, because the last thing in the world I want to do is argue. My husband LOVES to debate with people, but that is not my forte. I know what I believe, I will stand up for what I believe, but I am not going to try to force you to see things my way. Basically, I try to be the way God Is (please, please, please do not misunderstand- I am by no means saying I have it all figured out! It's just that this is what works better for my personality, I guess). What I mean by that is God presents Truth to us. He does not force us to believe in Him, accept His gift of Salvation, or live for Him. He has given each of us free will. That is the way I see life. I know Truth. I will ALWAYS speak Truth, stand up for Truth, and do my best every day to live in Truth. But I cannot and will not try to force someone to accept my views, beliefs, ideas or feelings. Each person is free to feel, believe, and live as they choose.

In addition to being on guard, again, I must say, that there was a bit of dread in me. I love getting to know new people, but I am not going to allow anyone to bully me or pick a fight with me because I disagree with them. I have seen it too many times in real life, and online. As a child, I was picked on and bullied. As an adult, I have discovered who I am. I know my strengths and my weaknesses. I am not afraid to admit the areas I am weak in, just as I am not afraid to stand in my Strength.

At one point during our conversation, I told her she was the one that sought me out to argue, that is not at all what I was looking for. Her response took me by surprise. She told me she was not seeking me out to pick an argument, she genuinely did not understand how I could view things the way I did.

As we continued to talk, it became apparent that she had misunderstood something I had said. I clarified it, and went on to explain further. During the conversation, we came to a point where we realized that we didn't see things so differently after all. Oh yes, there are things that we will disagree on. But hey, I disagree with my husband on a lot of things. None of us are going to see things exactly the same way on anything.

This situation has proven to me that ALL things ARE INDEED possible! From the very little I know about this lady to this point, she is a Liberal. I am a Conservative. While I have been friends with Liberals before, and have actually been able to discuss our different views civilly previously, the atmosphere where politics is concerned is quite different. Jesus says in Luke 18:27, :.. What is impossible with men is possible with God." I believe this, because I believe the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. But this week, I saw it lived out in my own life. I believe that all things happen for a reason. Who knows what the reason this happened is? I may never know. But there is a reason- of this I have no doubt!  

You've probably heard the saying that you don't ever discuss politics and religion with other people, because it can split the best of relationships. I have actually seen that happen.

But this experience with my new friend (we have since added each other as mutual followers on Twitter) has shown me that being able to discuss our differences is still possible. We have to each be willing to step back and see things from a different view.

For me, while I am more than willing to step back and see someone else's view, the old cliche' of politics and religion are too intertwined for me to separate. I actually do not like to use that word- religion- because as I often tell people, there is a HUGE difference between "religion" and "relationship".

My political views are so intertwined with my RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ that you will not ever be able to convince me that there is another truth. Jesus Christ IS Truth. Plain and simple. He says, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6) Jesus Christ IS my Way. He IS my Truth. He IS my Life. He IS my Strength. He IS my Rock. He IS my Salvation. He IS my Lord. He IS my God.

There was a time where I did not understand that there is indeed a difference in religion and relationship. I want no part of religion. In fact, I tell people I am one of the least religious people you will ever know. Religion is man made. Relationship is living and loving in The Light of the World- Jesus Christ. I am not perfect. I make many, many  mistakes every day. But I know that my relationship with Jesus Christ is what gives me the peace that truly passes all understanding. I've had more than one tragic event happen to me in my life. Many people have questioned how I can have the outlook I have on life, with all that I have been through. The ONLY answer to this is Jesus. Until I understood that God is not this "mean man in the sky", but instead, He is my loving Creator- my Heavenly Father who loves me so much that He provided a way of Salvation through His Son Jesus Christ- I was a miserable person. I tried religion. I want no part of it. Just give me Jesus!

Up until about 3 years or so ago I was not interested in politics at all. I had more important things to occupy my time with than worrying about politics. I was complacent, just the same as so many people in this country were, and many still are to this day. I am no longer complacent. I see my freedoms being threatened every day, and I am not willing to stick my head in the sand and allow the government and politicians slowly erode my freedoms. I want my children and grandchildren to know the freedom that I grew up with.

If everyone would take a step back and truly try to see things from someone else's perspective rather than ridiculing them because they see things differently, this world would be a different place. This goes for Liberals, Conservatives and those who don't care about politics at all.

It is my prayer that God will use my new friend and I as an example. I am sure we still disagree on many, many things! In fact, we probably disagree on almost everything. I just hope that our differences will not get in the way of a new friendship, where both of us may learn a lot from the other person!

I truly pray that this country will unite, in spite of our differences! My new friend said she thought that all people on the right believed a certain way about a topic we were discussing, yet, after I explained to her my view, I think she sees that it is not that way at all. Now, I am sure there are people out there on the right that are the way she thought, just as I am sure there are people out there that are on the left that are the way I view most liberals. However, if those of us with COMMON SENSE- both on the Right AND the Left- would distance ourselves from the radicals and stand together and speak rationally, I believe we could accomplish a great many things as a nation- even in our many differences!

I continue to pray today for Congresswoman Giffords. She is in rehab in Houston now. I know her battle to recovery is not over- in fact, in many ways, it is probably just beginning. I pray for her husband Mark Kelly. I pray that God will give him the strength to get through this. As husband and wife they are a team. He is her strength right now. I pray that Mr. Kelly will turn to God and lean on Him for strength.

I pray for this country. We truly are blessed beyond measure. I pray that more people will put aside their differences and unite. I still believe the only way our nation is ever going to heal is if we come together, humble ourselves in prayer, repent for our wrongs as a nation, so that God WILL heal our land! I will continue to pray this in the Name of Jesus Christ- Amen.

Friday, January 21, 2011


I am so thankful on this Friday- one day shy of two weeks since Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was shot. Last night, her husband Mark Kelly took her up on the roof! This was her first time outside since the shooting. Today, she has left the hospital in Arizona and is now in rehab in Houston, Texas!

I have said numerous times throughout this prayer blog that Congresswoman Giffords life is nothing less than a miracle from God Almighty! I do not believe that ANYTHING happens without reason! I do not beleive in coincidence at all.

I continue to pray for Ms. Giffords as she starts down tis new road in her journey of recovery. It will not be easy for her, but I know with God's strength she will make it. I will continue to pray for her complete recovery until she takes her place back in Congress! I will also continue to pray for her husband, Mark Kelly, and all of her extended family and friends. I pray that God will grow Ms. Giffords and Mr. Kelly's marriage even stronger than it currently is.

Last night, a fellow tweeter that I've discussed this with thanked me for my continued prayers. This is the same person that I have mentioned previously, who has thanked me. No thanks is necessary, as I believe that God Almighty has called me to be a vigilant prayer warrior for Ms. Giffords, as well as this nation. What I did say to this person, in response, was, with the amazing recovery Ms. Giffords has already had, imagine what it would be if ALL Americans would put aside their differences in this situation, stop politicizing it and blaming others, and simply bow before God Almighty and pray for Ms. Giffords.

Our country is on a collision course with disaster if we do not change the direction we are going. I know God's Word, and I trust that He will honor His Word, if we obey Him. America- once again, I ask you to join me in prayer for this nation. I know that triumph can come from tragedy, because my life is a testament to this fact. God tells us if we will humble ourselves and pray, He WILL heal our land! Will you humble yourself with me?

Thursday, January 20, 2011


Jesus told His disciples in Mark 10:15 and Luke 18:17 that if we do not have faith as a little child, we will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

In Matthew 17:20 we are told that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed we can move mountains.

I've seen many miracles in my lifetime. There are things that I would have never imagined in my own life that have either already come true, have happened, or are coming true.

America has witnessed a miracle the first month of this new year. Tragedy struck- an event that Satan meant for evil, God is turning to good (Romans 8:28). Yes, there are still parts of the event that are tragic. Many lives have been forever changed. But if we allow God to work in our lives, He WILL turn the evil for good.

It is reported that Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords is now up and walking, and that she will be going to rehab tomorrow! All praise and glory and honor be to Jesus! This is truly a miracle! It is quite obvious that God is not done with Ms. Giffords yet, and has mighty things in store for her life. He tells us in Provers 29:11 that He has a plan for us.

Faith truly can move mountains. America, once again, I ask you to join me and humble yourself before God. Repent for your sins, so that He will heal our land. It's obvious what He can and will do if we have faith! This truly IS a miracle!

I continue to pray for Congresswoman Giffords complete recovery. I continue to pray for her husband, Mark Kelly, and their extended family and friends, as they start this new part of the journey of her recovery. I hate that this tragic event has happened, but I praise God that He has spared Ms. Giffords life, and is truly performing a miracle through her.

I continue to pray for the other shooting victims and their families. I pray for Randy and Amy Loughner, the parents of the attacker. I pray for the attacker himself- that God will humble and soften his heart. I pray that he will repent from the evil that he has caused.

I continue to pray for the family and friends of Connor Menning in Vermont. I pray that the students will seek out someone to talk to, rather than letting this event create overwhelming feelings inside of them that they cannot deal with. Faith. We must have faith in God Almighty, and He will move the mountains of our lives. He has moved MANY mountains in my life! Jesus has given me a new beginning from the ashes. My broken heart became brand new. For all these things, I am so very thankful to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

America- THAT'S what faith can do!

"That's What Faith Can Do"
By Kutless

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think its more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can!

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

Wednesday, January 19, 2011


I watched the interview with Mark Kelly, the husband of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, last night. My heart ached as he talked about seeing the misinformation that his wife had died. My heart smiled as I listed to him talk about their love, in spite of the distance that is often between them.

In the days that have passed since this tragedy, Mr. Kelly has been in my thoughts and prayers much of the time. As I watched the news on that Saturday, in the beginning, as they were reporting that she had died, my heart ached for her family. I know what it is like to lose a spouse in a tragedy. While my tragedy was not national news, grief is no respecter of persons. If you love someone, it hurts when you lose that person.

When reports started coming out that Ms. Giffords had not died, that she was in surgery, all I could do is pray, and stay glued to the TV. Literally all day long, I just sat, watching for some news of her. My husband would ask me throughout the day if I was OK, if I wanted to talk. I didn't really know what to say.

It wasn't until a couple of days later that I put my finger on why I was so drawn in by this story. Yes, while it is completely different from my tragedy, I identified with the heart break that was going on in Arizona. While Ms. Giffords was still in critical condition, hope was looking up for her. However, there were still senseless deaths that happened that day.

Countless lives have been affected by this tragedy. As I have talked about and prayed from the beginning of this blog the day after the tragedy in Arizona, the family of Ms. Giffords, the families of all those who were killed that day, the families of those who were shot but lived through it, the family of the shooter, the first responders, those who were shopping in the Shopping Center that day.... the list goes on and on. Countless lives were affected that day.

I have learned that the only comfort for me in these times is Jesus. Talking to Him, writing to Him, crying to Him, just being in His presence is the only comfort that truly soothes my soul. Yes, the pain is still there, but it is bearable because He is there. I truly cast my cares on Him.

Yesterday, as I read the news of Connor Mennings committing suicide at school, once again, my heart ached. It's been almost 10 years since my first husband shot himself, taking his own life. That horrible night is forever etched in my mind's eye. While the nightmares are not nearly as often as they were in the first days, weeks, months and years past this tragedy, that scene changed me. I have a new understanding of true terror. I could not change what was happening before my very eyes.

I have asked myself countless times what could I have done. Could I have said something that would have made a difference? I will never know the answer to that question. What I do know is that the aftermath of this tragedy changed many lives forever. Yes, God, in His infinite beauty and love, has turned this horrible tragedy for good (Romans 8:28). He has used me and allowed me to be open to share my grief and experience with others, so they know that they are not alone. When I was living this nightmare, there was so very few people I could talk to. My prayer is that God will allow me to continually turn this tragedy for good, by letting me be there to help others who are going through a tragedy like this. It is my prayer that my life can be seen as an example of how when you let Jesus have the pieces of your shattered life, He will lovingly and gently and patiently put your life back together. No, it will never be the same as it was before. Yes, there will always be a hollow place in your heart that aches and echoes with the loss of your loved one or the pain you have experienced. But that pain and echo can become beautiful when the love and light of Jesus shines through it.

Today, I continue to pray for all the lives that have been affected in these two tragedies. I continue to pray for Congresswoman Giffords, Mark Kelly, and their extended family and friends. I pray for all those families who lost loved ones and friends on that horrible day. I pray for this country, as politicians jockey to take advantage of this tragedy. I pray for common sense to prevail, as things are getting completely ridiculous, with the political correctness that is being pushed. I pray for the blame game to stop, and accountability to be allowed to happen. I pray for justice to be carried out to the man who committed this horrible crime. I pray for his soul, that he would repent of his sins, and turn to the forgiving mercy and grace of Christ Jesus. Again, I believe just punishment for this crime should be the death penalty for his mortal life, but I continue to pray for his immortal soul.

I pray for the family and friends of Connor Mennings. I pray for the teachers and students at his school. I pray for the youth across this country who feel that suicide is the only answer the pain they are experiencing. Yes, I most definitely believe that their pain is real. However, I know that suicide is NEVER the answer! Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. I pray that those who do not know the love, mercy and grace of my Savior, Jesus Christ, will seek Him. If you seek, you will find Him. I could have never made it through the tragedy I went through without having Jesus to comfort me. The pain was still there, but my healing was only possible because of the love of Jesus Christ. Of this, I have absolutely no doubt.

I pray that all those who have been affected by these tragedies will find it inside themselves to forgive. I learned the hard way that you have to go through all the stages of grief. I pray that each of these people will allow themselves to walk through this process. I fought part of the process, and it just prolonged my grief and healing. This is a natural process that must take place for true healing to take place. I believe this is why so many people never heal from the tragic events in their lives.

I pray that each of these tragedies will be turned to something beautiful. Many will not be able to see how that is eve possible. I did not see how it could be in my tragedy for many years. And the beauty did not come from me- the beauty came from Jesus. It truly is a miracle, just as Ms. Giffords living through this is a miracle. All praise, glory and honor be to Jesus Christ.

I pray all of these things in the Name of Jesus Christ- Amen.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


My heart has felt strangely silent today. I've been in prayer, throughout the day, but could not focus. I now know why. There is a specific event that needs fervent prayers right now.

Suicide crosses all ethnic, social and economic boundaries.  Unfortunately, too many people see that suicide is the only answer to their problems.

Today, a Vermont school is forever changed. The family of Connor Menning, who attended Mount Mansfield Union High School in Jericho, Vermont, took his own life this morning.  Story Source

There are no words that I can say or even pray that will ease the pain of what this family is going through. And the pain of what they are going through today is but just a drop in the bucket of what they will be experiencing in the days, weeks, months and years ahead.

I am a survivor of suicide. I witnessed my first husband put a gun in his mouth and take his own life. It has been almost ten years since this life-changing event, and yet, I still remember the intense pain that became my life for many years. It is ONLY because of the love, grace and healing mercy of God that I am who I am today. This tragedy does not define me, but this tragic event proved to be a catalyst for God's Amazing Love to pour down on my life.

I am very troubled by the fact that the article says that school remained in session today, due to exams, but that counselors were on hand if anyone needed to talk. I cannot imagine sitting through a class after this going on, much less having to take an exam! I pray that every parent will petition the school to allow students to make up these exams.

I'm very curious as to how professionals could make such an unprofessional decision like this. The only thing that makes sense to me is the Scripture that says, "the love of many will grow cold." (Matthew 24:12) Maybe I am missing something here, but to expect students to go about their day as if nothing happened is beyond comprehension. But to expect students to perform their best on exams after having this happen is unfathomable!

It is my prayer that each one of those students will find someone to talk to. I pray that the parents, extended family and friends of Connor Menning will find comfort in Christ Jesus during this tragedy. There are no answers that make sense in a time like this. I have searched for answers for almost 10 years now. Some answers I do have, many I do not. The answers I do have do not really make it any easier.

My life is beautiful, now. I am re-married, to a wonderful man, and we have 5 beautiful children. If this tragedy had not happened in my life, I would not have the life I have now. But, as beautiful as my life is now, as happy as my life is now- I will never, ever forget the intense, debilitating pain that I lived for so many years.

I continue to pray for Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords complete recovery. The reports I have heard are very promising. I hold fast to this miracle from God, and praise Him for the progress she has made so far. I started this prayer blog expecting a miracle in her recovery. But I know that I will continue to pray, on a daily basis, for her complete recovery, as well as this nation.

The title says it all. We must humble ourselves and pray. For too long we have become complacent with the blessings we have. I am speaking of myself in this, as well. We cannot blame God when things go wrong, yet forget to praise Him in the good things that He does.

I continue to seek prayer warriors to join me in this Spiritual Battle. We must fight this battle on our knees. Our power comes from the Name of Jesus. We cannot fight this battle without the power of His Name.

I pray these things in the Name of Jesus- Amen. 

Monday, January 17, 2011


I heard on the news this morning that  Mark Kelly, Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords husband, has spoken publicly for the first time. It warmed my heart to hear that he has said he would agree to meet with Amy and Randy Loughner, the parents of the man that shot his wife. He said that he does not hold them responsible for their son's actions. This news, along with yesterday's news that Congresswoman Giffords' medical status has been upgraded to serious from critical is great news during this time of tragedy.

Some will probably wonder why I believe it is good news to hear that Mr. Kelly does not hold them responsible for their son's actions. I believe that every step he and the family takes to forgive in this horrendous act is just more healing for them. I pray that someday he and the family, and Ms. Giffords as well, will be able to forgive the man himself, who did this. Forgiveness of him is not for the attacker, but for them- their healing and well-being.

I learned, unfortunately the hard way, that unforgiveness can cause you great harm. It turns into anger, which turns into bitterness if you do not deal with it.  Bitterness will destroy you. Forgiveness is not you- the one who has been hurt- not the one who has hurt you. I continue to pray for Congresswoman's Giffords, Mark Kelly, their family and friends. I also continue to pray for each person who was at the supermarket that horrible day. Those who were shot, I pray for complete and quick healing. I pray for all those who witness the attack. I pray for the first responders who were on the scene. I pray for the doctor's who are caring for all these people.

I pray that this tragedy will bring about more miracles in this country. Just as we see Mr. Kelly start the process with the family of the killer, I pray that the country will take notice and follow his example. So many are looking for answers. Who caused this? Why? We may never have the answer of why. Who caused this? Evil.  Jared Loughner CHOSE- personally- HIMSELF- to commit this horrible act. Nothing that was done to him caused this. There have been many millions of people who have had horrible, unspeakable things done to them, who have never hurt anyone else. Yes, I most definitely believe in the cycle of abuse. But I believe that ultimately it all comes down to an individual choice. I do not know whether or not there were any abuse done to Jared Loughner. The news has been conflicting on this aspect of the story. But I have also learned the hard way that what you hear on the news is not always the truth- no matter what source you get your news from.

I continue to pray for Jared Loughner. I heard this morning that some of the guards have said that his eyes are pure evil, still. They say he shows no signs of remorse. I pray for those who have contact with him, that God will protect them from the evil that obviously permeates from him. I pray for Jared, that he will be humbled, and surrender his life to God Almighty. I pray that he will repent of his sins, come to know Jesus Christ as his Savior.

I pray that my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus will join me in praying for Ms. Giffords, Mr. Kelly, Mr. and Mrs. Loughner, and Mr. Loughner, as well as this nation. We must come to a place of humility before God, repent for our sins as a nation, so that God Almighty will heal our land.

As always, I pray these things in the precious Name of Jesus Christ- Amen.

Sunday, January 16, 2011


Praise be to God Almighty! Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords has been upgraded to serious condition, from critical condition, 8 days after she was shot in the head. There are many miracles intertwined in this event.

Today, I continue to pray for Congresswoman Giffords, her husband, family and friends. I continue to pray for all those who were shot or who had family deaths from this tragedy. I pray for Eric Fuller, the shooting victim that has now been arrested for making death threats against a Tea Party Leader.

I continue to pray for the people of America, that we will unite. The human side of me sees very little hope with this happening, because I know that this time in our nation's history, we are so very divided. The political views of the people of this nation are polar opposites. However, the spiritual side of me knows that with God ALL things are possible. I pray for humble hearts. I know for this to happen our country is going to need to be broken. This will be painful for us as a nation- more painful that anything we've ever known. However, the alternative is even more painful. I continue to pray that the Christians of this nation will bind together in prayer. Jesus Christ is the only One who can heal our land.

This tragedy in Arizona last Saturday is, in my opinion, where the pot began to boil over after years of slowly turning the heat up. I pray that the fire will be turned off, though, again, I realize the reality of this happening is probably next to impossible. My concern is that simply turning back the heat on this simmering  atmosphere that permeates the political atmosphere just allows the anger to grow stronger and hotter. If we would simply discuss the issues and stop the personal attacks we could actually start addressing the real problems of this nation.

Lord God, You tell us that if we will humble ourselves before you, repent from our sins, You will heal our land. I pray that You will soften hearts and draw this nation closer to You. I pray for humble hearts, repentance, and healed land. It's in the precious Name of Jesus Christ I pray- Amen.