Tuesday, January 18, 2011


My heart has felt strangely silent today. I've been in prayer, throughout the day, but could not focus. I now know why. There is a specific event that needs fervent prayers right now.

Suicide crosses all ethnic, social and economic boundaries.  Unfortunately, too many people see that suicide is the only answer to their problems.

Today, a Vermont school is forever changed. The family of Connor Menning, who attended Mount Mansfield Union High School in Jericho, Vermont, took his own life this morning.  Story Source

There are no words that I can say or even pray that will ease the pain of what this family is going through. And the pain of what they are going through today is but just a drop in the bucket of what they will be experiencing in the days, weeks, months and years ahead.

I am a survivor of suicide. I witnessed my first husband put a gun in his mouth and take his own life. It has been almost ten years since this life-changing event, and yet, I still remember the intense pain that became my life for many years. It is ONLY because of the love, grace and healing mercy of God that I am who I am today. This tragedy does not define me, but this tragic event proved to be a catalyst for God's Amazing Love to pour down on my life.

I am very troubled by the fact that the article says that school remained in session today, due to exams, but that counselors were on hand if anyone needed to talk. I cannot imagine sitting through a class after this going on, much less having to take an exam! I pray that every parent will petition the school to allow students to make up these exams.

I'm very curious as to how professionals could make such an unprofessional decision like this. The only thing that makes sense to me is the Scripture that says, "the love of many will grow cold." (Matthew 24:12) Maybe I am missing something here, but to expect students to go about their day as if nothing happened is beyond comprehension. But to expect students to perform their best on exams after having this happen is unfathomable!

It is my prayer that each one of those students will find someone to talk to. I pray that the parents, extended family and friends of Connor Menning will find comfort in Christ Jesus during this tragedy. There are no answers that make sense in a time like this. I have searched for answers for almost 10 years now. Some answers I do have, many I do not. The answers I do have do not really make it any easier.

My life is beautiful, now. I am re-married, to a wonderful man, and we have 5 beautiful children. If this tragedy had not happened in my life, I would not have the life I have now. But, as beautiful as my life is now, as happy as my life is now- I will never, ever forget the intense, debilitating pain that I lived for so many years.

I continue to pray for Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords complete recovery. The reports I have heard are very promising. I hold fast to this miracle from God, and praise Him for the progress she has made so far. I started this prayer blog expecting a miracle in her recovery. But I know that I will continue to pray, on a daily basis, for her complete recovery, as well as this nation.

The title says it all. We must humble ourselves and pray. For too long we have become complacent with the blessings we have. I am speaking of myself in this, as well. We cannot blame God when things go wrong, yet forget to praise Him in the good things that He does.

I continue to seek prayer warriors to join me in this Spiritual Battle. We must fight this battle on our knees. Our power comes from the Name of Jesus. We cannot fight this battle without the power of His Name.

I pray these things in the Name of Jesus- Amen. 

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