Wednesday, March 23, 2011


After my first husband committed suicide, my life as I knew it literally ceased to exist. Everything that I knew, believed and lived shattered into a million pieces. It was at this point that God lovingly picked up one, single piece of my shattered, brokenness and placed it in the middle of His canvas, which is my life.

All of the shattered pieces of my former life are still there today. While it may not appear that way, the shattered, broken pieces have been lovingly healed and mended by the hands of The Master Who created me and loves me so dearly. Many, many pieces have been loving placed where they belong, and yet, many others still are in the process of mending and healing.

One thing that God showed me, after my husband died, was how yes, we are indeed created in the image of God. However, as humans, most everything we do is opposite of the way God does things. It is a strange concept, in one sense. Yet, it makes perfect sense as well.

An image is a reflection of an actual thing, not the thing itself. When you look in the mirror at yourself, it is the opposite of reality. Your right side appears to be the left side, and vice versa.

When you work a puzzle, what is the first thing that you do? You start with the outside pieces, and put the entire border together. At least, this is the way I do it, and this is the way I've seen most people work a puzzle.

God began to show me that my life is a puzzle in progress at the work of His loving hands.

So, in using this analogy, God began to show me how, because I am created in His image, it is very much like looking at myself in the mirror. I am a reflection of Him, therefore, most things that I do are actually opposite of the way He does things. 

My life is a perfect example of this reality. My life is a puzzle in the hands of The Almighty. When my life fell apart, and every piece of my being lay shattered on the ground, He started working to put my life back together. He started with one, single piece, and placed it in the middle. He slowly began healing and replacing the shattered pieces, placing them together as they were ready to fit.

He has worked on many areas of my life. There are some areas of my life that are further along than others. However, as far as I know, none of the outer edges of my life are in place. I cannot say for sure that this is the case, because I do not know when I will take my last breath. It is my assumption that I have many years ahead of me. Until I stand before God, and give an account of my life, the outer edges of the puzzle of my life will not be complete.

We have to remember that Satan is the Father of all lies. He is the opposite of Jesus- The Way, The TRUTH, and The Life!

Satan wants us to believe that bad things happen to us because God is angry with us, or God doesn't care about us, or we have done something wrong. While yes, the last option is sometimes the case- there are many times that things in our life happen as a consequence of our actions which are wrong, this is not God punishing us. It is simply a natural occurrence of cause and effect. Yes, I most definitely believe that God uses these cause and effect situations to teach us, and so in a sense it is a form of discipline, it is not actual punishment, I do not believe.

As the saying goes, we often cannot see the forest for the trees. So much of the time, I believe this is the reality of our individual lives. If we buy into Satan's lies that God doesn't care about us, that He is angry with us, that He does not love us, or that we are being punished, then we can not see the overall forest- or puzzle- of our lives. Each of us were created for a specific purpose. That overall purpose, for all of us, is to commune with, and worship God The Creator of all things.

The question for each of us as individuals is how, exactly, we were called to commune with and worship Him. To find our individual purpose that we were created for, I believe it is essential that we surrender our lives- our puzzle- to The Masters hands rather than our own. We cannot see the forest of our lives- He can. We get overwhelmed by the tree- our life- and cannot see how we fit as a piece of His puzzle of eternity.

I can assure you, He is doing a MUCH BETTER job of putting the puzzle of my life together than I was!

Lord God, I am so thankful that You have given me clear analogies to help me understand things as I do. While I know that I do not understand all that I would like to understand, I know the peace that passes all understanding that comes with having surrendered all that a I am and all that I do to You.

I fail You miserably every day. I ask that You forgive me in each of these failings. I ask specifically that You continue to reveal to me where I need to make changes as Your daughter, as my husband's wife, and as my children's mother.

I thank You for revealing the answer to a fervent prayer that has caused my heart to ache for many months now. I pray that You will help me to cling to You as I allow You to lovingly remold this area of my life. I am sure it will be painful in many ways, but I know the results will be more beautiful than I can ever imagine. In this situation, I ask for your forgiveness specifically, and pray that You will heal the hurts that have been caused by my actions. Help me to see things through Your eyes rather than my own. Please take the anger and any bitterness that has settled in my heart and soul that is poison to my life through this situation.

I continue to pray for Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords today. I pray that You will help her to keep her life in perspective, and view this tragedy as a piece of the puzzle of her life. While I know without a doubt that this was never part of Your perfect plan, I know without a doubt that You will use this, as You do all things, for good. Where Satan intends evil to prevail, Your love, mercy, grace and goodness will overcome. I pray that You will help Ms. Giffords to forgive the man that assaulted her and her supporters. I pray that she will not allow anger to be unforgiveness which becomes bitterness that poisons to the very depths of our soul. Bless her and keep her in this continue process of healing and recovery.

I pray for President Obama. I continue to pray that he will humble himself before You, rise up and be the leader that he was elected to be. Whether or not I voted for him matters not at this time. What matters is that he is the President of The United States of America. I am a citizen of this country, so he in fact represents me. It hurts my heart and soul that he does not take a solid stand on things. Even though I disagree with most everything he represents, he still does not stand solid. Because of this we are now seen as week. God, please have mercy on this country! We do not deserve Your mercy, but I plead with You to have mercy on this nation! We are still One Nation Under God. I pray for my fellow countrymen. I pray that we will unite and turn back to You as a nation.

I pray for the nation and the people of Israel. Lord God, this is Your chosen people. I know that You are in control, and I know that You will always keep a Remnant. My heart aches for the apple of Your eye! I know prophecy foretells what is to come, but to actually be a witness to it is heart breaking! It is so frustrating that so many people are blind to reality! I know Your Word says that You will send a Great Delusion and people will believe it. I do not know if You have released this Great Delusion already or not, but it seems very likely that this is the case. I pray that You will soften hearts and open blinded eyes to Your Truth. As always, I pray for the protection of Israel. She has suffered greatly throughout history, and she continues to suffer today. May she be blessed and greatly rewarded by Your loving hands!

I pray for Your Church- The Body of Christ. My heart aches to see that so many who call themselves by Your Name show no fruits. I know we will know them by their fruits, but the hypocrisy of The Church is appalling! Again, I know this was foretold in Scriptures. But knowing something is going to happen does not lessen the pain when it comes to fruition. God, have mercy on our souls! You are indeed our only Hope!

I pray all of these things in the Name of Your Son Jesus Christ- Amen.

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